Description
“Congratulations on your new home! I hope your new neighbors aren’t assholes.” This funny housewarming card skips the sugary sentiment and gets straight to the important stuff, printed in clean black-and-white typography for a modern, understated look.
It’s the easy pick for close friends, siblings, coworkers, or anyone who appreciates humor with a little bite. Blank inside on a 5 × 7-inch folded card, ready for your own message.
Product Details
• One 5 × 7-inch funny housewarming card
• Clean black-and-white typography design
• Blank inside for your own message
• Professionally printed to order in the USA
• Card artwork created by Designs by Linda Nee LLC
• Colors may vary slightly between monitors and the printed card
Size & Format
• 5 × 7 inches, folded
• Available as 1 Card, 5 Cards, or 10 Cards
• Standard portrait orientation
Packaging & Shipping
• Carefully packaged flat to protect corners and print quality
• Printed and shipped from the USA
Perfect For
• New homeowners and first-time home buyers
• Friends moving house and new apartment celebrations
• Coworker moving gifts and realtor client gifts
• New neighbor congratulations
Complete Your Collection
Looking for more sarcastic gift-giving humor? Browse the full collection of funny greeting cards from Designs by Linda Nee for more close-friend-approved punchlines.
FAQ
Is this housewarming card blank inside?
Yes, the inside is blank so you can add your own message.
What size is this card?
It’s a 5 × 7-inch card, printed to order in the USA.
How is this different from your other new home card?
This one jokes about hoping the new neighbors aren’t jerks, while the other jokes about overstaying your welcome as a guest.
© Designs by Linda Nee LLC
Payment & Security
Your payment information is processed securely. We do not store credit card details nor have access to your credit card information.
You may also like
Products & Quality
Our metal signs are made from durable aluminum, designed to be lightweight, vibrant, and long-lasting.
Our art prints are available either on aluminum metal or on archival-quality art paper, depending on the product you choose.
Our greeting cards are professionally printed on premium Red River linen textured cardstock, giving them a beautiful, high-quality feel.
For other items such as gifts and accessories, we use carefully selected materials designed for both beauty and everyday durability. Product pages include specific details about each item.
Yes, our aluminum metal signs are durable and suitable for outdoor use, as aluminum is rust-resistant and made to handle different weather conditions.
Products like tumblers, compact mirrors, necklaces, and keychains are made from durable materials designed for everyday use.
However, art prints on archival paper and greeting cards are intended for indoor use to preserve their quality and appearance.
Our products are designed to be both beautiful and easy to care for.
Metal signs and metal art prints can be displayed indoors or outdoors and can be gently cleaned with a soft cloth if needed. Our metal signs (9×12, 12×18, 16×24, 3×12, 6×24, and 4×18) come with pre-drilled holes for easy hanging. Metal art prints include Command™ strips for simple, damage-free wall mounting.
Art prints on archival paper are best displayed indoors and ideally framed to help protect them over time.
Items such as tumblers, compact mirrors, necklaces, keychains, mousepads, coasters, and Christmas ornaments are designed for everyday use and can be gently cleaned with a soft cloth. For best results, we recommend hand washing tumblers rather than using a dishwasher to help preserve the design and finish.
Shipping & Returns
We typically process and ship orders within 1–2 business days. Once your order is shipped, delivery time depends on the shipping carrier and your location within the United States.
We ship Monday through Friday (business days only). During busy seasons such as holidays, processing and delivery times may take slightly longer due to higher shipping volumes.
If you need your order by a specific date, please contact us through our Contact Us page before placing your order so we can check available expedited shipping options.
Yes! We offer free shipping on all U.S. orders over $50, including Alaska and Hawaii.
For orders under $50, we offer a flat rate shipping of $5.95 anywhere in the United States.
Free and flat rate shipping do not apply to APO/FPO or international orders, where shipping rates are calculated at checkout.
We accept returns or exchanges within 30 days of delivery for non-personalized items.
Items must be unused and in their original packaging, and refunds are issued after we receive and inspect the return. Please note that return shipping costs are the customer’s responsibility, and original shipping fees are non-refundable.
Because many of our products are made just for you, custom or personalized items cannot be returned or exchanged unless they arrive damaged or defective.
Custom Orders & Personalization
Yes! Many of our products offer personalization options, such as adding a name, custom text, or special details depending on the item.
If a product can be personalized, you’ll see a personalization field on the product page where you can enter your custom details before adding the item to your cart.
If you would like custom text on a design that doesn’t offer personalization, or if you have your own design you’d like us to print, please contact us and we’ll do our best to help.
Yes! We’re happy to work with businesses, organizations, and events that need bulk orders.
If you’re interested in ordering multiple items, custom designs, or branded products, please contact us with the details of your request and we’ll be glad to discuss the options.
Still have questions?
If you didn’t find the answer you were looking for, feel free to reach out. We’re always happy to help with product details, customization requests, or order questions.
Contact us and we’ll get back to you as soon as possible.







