Description
When Tears Count as Security
Sometimes the best “property protected by” sign isn’t backed by fangs or claws—but by pure emotional chaos. This Squonk property protected sign brings that perfect mix of humor and folklore to your space, making it a standout funny cryptid warning sign for cabins, woodland homes, game rooms, porches, or anyone who loves quirky cryptid gifts. Designed for fans of woodland folklore decor, outdoor metal signs, and novelty yard signs, it gives your visitors a gentle—but confusing—warning that your land is defended by a creature who cries at the slightest inconvenience. Whether you display it at your front door, workshop, trail entrance, or cabin porch, this funny metal sign adds personality while helping your property stand out in all the right ways.
ABOUT OUR SIGNS
• Premium aluminum cryptid warning sign for indoor or outdoor use
• Available in Distressed Vintage Style or Clean Modern Style
• UV-resistant, high-resolution artwork featuring the legendary Squonk
• Rectangular signs include two pre-drilled holes; square sizes ship without holes
• Handmade in our New Hampshire studio using professional materials
AVAILABLE SIZES
Rectangular: 9x12, 12x18, 16x24
Square: 6x6, 8x8, 12x12
STYLE OPTIONS
Distressed Vintage Style – Softly weathered with “found in the woods” charm
Clean Modern Style – Crisp, bright design for a polished woodland decor look
SHIPPING AND PACKAGING
Signs are made to order in the USA and printed with durable, UV-resistant inks. Each sign is packaged securely in rigid mailers or a heavy-duty box to prevent bending during transit. Tracking information is provided when your order ships.
COMPLETE YOUR CRYPTID COLLECTION
Pair your Squonk property protected sign with other novelty cryptid decor for a full folklore-themed display, including Specter Moose, Tommyknocker, Mongolian Death Worm, Swamp Monster, Pukwudgie, and Loveland Frogman.
© Designs by Linda Nee LLC
Payment & Security
Your payment information is processed securely. We do not store credit card details nor have access to your credit card information.
You may also like
Products & Quality
Our metal signs are made from durable aluminum, designed to be lightweight, vibrant, and long-lasting.
Our art prints are available either on aluminum metal or on archival-quality art paper, depending on the product you choose.
Our greeting cards are professionally printed on premium Red River linen textured cardstock, giving them a beautiful, high-quality feel.
For other items such as gifts and accessories, we use carefully selected materials designed for both beauty and everyday durability. Product pages include specific details about each item.
Yes, our aluminum metal signs are durable and suitable for outdoor use, as aluminum is rust-resistant and made to handle different weather conditions.
Products like tumblers, compact mirrors, necklaces, and keychains are made from durable materials designed for everyday use.
However, art prints on archival paper and greeting cards are intended for indoor use to preserve their quality and appearance.
Our products are designed to be both beautiful and easy to care for.
Metal signs and metal art prints can be displayed indoors or outdoors and can be gently cleaned with a soft cloth if needed. Our metal signs (9×12, 12×18, 16×24, 3×12, 6×24, and 4×18) come with pre-drilled holes for easy hanging. Metal art prints include Command™ strips for simple, damage-free wall mounting.
Art prints on archival paper are best displayed indoors and ideally framed to help protect them over time.
Items such as tumblers, compact mirrors, necklaces, keychains, mousepads, coasters, and Christmas ornaments are designed for everyday use and can be gently cleaned with a soft cloth. For best results, we recommend hand washing tumblers rather than using a dishwasher to help preserve the design and finish.
Shipping & Returns
We typically process and ship orders within 1–2 business days. Once your order is shipped, delivery time depends on the shipping carrier and your location within the United States.
We ship Monday through Friday (business days only). During busy seasons such as holidays, processing and delivery times may take slightly longer due to higher shipping volumes.
If you need your order by a specific date, please contact us through our Contact Us page before placing your order so we can check available expedited shipping options.
Yes! We offer free shipping on all U.S. orders over $50, including Alaska and Hawaii.
For orders under $50, we offer a flat rate shipping of $5.95 anywhere in the United States.
Free and flat rate shipping do not apply to APO/FPO or international orders, where shipping rates are calculated at checkout.
We accept returns or exchanges within 30 days of delivery for non-personalized items.
Items must be unused and in their original packaging, and refunds are issued after we receive and inspect the return. Please note that return shipping costs are the customer’s responsibility, and original shipping fees are non-refundable.
Because many of our products are made just for you, custom or personalized items cannot be returned or exchanged unless they arrive damaged or defective.
Custom Orders & Personalization
Yes! Many of our products offer personalization options, such as adding a name, custom text, or special details depending on the item.
If a product can be personalized, you’ll see a personalization field on the product page where you can enter your custom details before adding the item to your cart.
If you would like custom text on a design that doesn’t offer personalization, or if you have your own design you’d like us to print, please contact us and we’ll do our best to help.
Yes! We’re happy to work with businesses, organizations, and events that need bulk orders.
If you’re interested in ordering multiple items, custom designs, or branded products, please contact us with the details of your request and we’ll be glad to discuss the options.
Still have questions?
If you didn’t find the answer you were looking for, feel free to reach out. We’re always happy to help with product details, customization requests, or order questions.
Contact us and we’ll get back to you as soon as possible.




